It’s 1:12 am, 14th august, no, 15th august, now.
So that makes it Independence Day.
I wasn’t allowed to go to Shunshine’s party; I am not allowed to go to Shantiniketan with a few of my college friends.
I suddenly have this ridiculously mad desire to actually run away with them tomorrow, to Shantiniketan.
I’ve never been to Shantiniketan before but that’s not why I want to go, I just want to do something reckless, show some defiance, do something before thinking about it twice, without stopping to take permission, without thinking of the consequences that would follow, before informing people that “THIS IS WHAT I’M GOING TO DO”, just doing it because I want to and for nothing else at all, no reason, nothing.
Mercuryshadow thinks it impossible when I told her about it over the phone, that’s why I hung up on her .Why isn’t it possible? I mean, it not really wrong in any way is it? I’m not going to be doing anything over there that is bad or wrong in anyway, I just want to hang out in a different place with different people and nothing is going to go wrong. I mean, there are only two clear reasons as to why I am not allowed.
a) 1) That I might do some rubbish over there, like get drunk or smoke up, but since I don’t drink or smoke up that’s not the problem, whether my parents trust me enough to believe me that I won’t do anything like that is their problem not mine and so I’m not taking that into consideration here.
b) 2) The second reason is that because I’m going to some unknown land to some unknown person’s house, it is unsafe and my parents won’t even be there to protect me. It’s weird the way they think that going for a trip is dangerous, that way stepping out of the house is dangerous as I may get run over by a car or something, and even if I’m in the goddamn house, it might be that there’s an earthquake and the goddamn roof falls on my head! They never think of it this way.
The tickets haven’t been cut yet, so there’s still hope for me, but I still haven’t made up my mind, and my mind is trying to reason with my desire and trying to bring in all that I didn’t want to think about before doing this, so the desire is getting discouraged, so I need to make up my mind really fast and I want it to say that “yes, I’m going to do this”, before it’s too late and it says “no, it’s impossible, I shouldn’t do this.”
I don’t know man.
What the hell should I do?
It’s Independence Day.
