Daydream

Into Dust

(PLAY VIDEO FIRST FOR EFFECT)

So I just finished re-watching The OC again, which is a popular american drama television series that aired from 2003 to 2007 and I'm surprised at myself because i found out that at the end of it, i feel the same  way about as i did back when i saw it for the first time. I can't say the same for most of the other television series (like One Tree Hill, Full House and so on) that I've also re-watched recently. The only difference that i can figure out here between The OC and these other series is the fact that these other series are quite long, like 7 or 8 seasons long, One Tree Hill is actually still on i think, and its unwatchable (it should have ended with season 6), where as  The OC is only 4 seasons long and it sums up everything and there is a total catharsis at the end and I'm a sucker for a happy endings or one that ends in a clean slate for all and sundry, even the bad guys. So that's why I like The OC because it does exactly that. Not to forget what Sandy Cohen said, and its probably true in the world of The OC, "Just look at that schmearing technique, with every pass of that knife, the world becomes a better place."

The ground beneath my feet

For the very first time, I felt an earthquake take place today. I cant decide whether to add it to my mental list of 'very firsts', because it's an earthquake, it's not supposed to be fun. Although I cant really say that all of my 'very firsts' were fun. So yeah. There was an earthquake today, and i felt it.

"Ho Ho Ho !" Yeah Shut the F**k Up!

It's 2:06 am, 25th December, aka Christmas.

Friends are having fun, parents are sleeping.

I'm doing neither.

Evenings such as these really brings with it this wretched feeling of sordidness.

Earlier when I was a kid, during winter I would get these sudden urges to create artwork and crafts and things alike, and after making something I would be thoroughly disappointed with myself and end up throwing the entire thing into the dustbin, only after ripping it to pieces.

No, this had nothing to do with my short-temper, rage or impatience and not that I wasn't good at art- I was rather good at it. It was just this inadequate feeling that hovered in the air and sucked the fun out of everything.

Contrarily, winter is also when I'm quite happy and active most of the time. In summer I'm cranky and lazy. Yes.

So it's weird how I can have such contradictory feelings. I guess that's why I really like and identify with the phrase "in two minds" whether it means you're indecisive or you're having mixed feelings, it kind of goes with what's going on in my head most of the time, although I don't like to think of myself as a fickle person. I'm not I guess, or am I? And this doesn't mean that I am.

My mother is very fickle-minded ( when i was a kid, I used to say 'frickle-minded' instead of 'fickle-minded', but that's not important right now). My mother is the queen of fickle-minded people. I say this often but she's like the Roman mob, except she's one person.

and now I dont want to type anymore.

This sucks.

Below, are some Christmas photos.

Enjoy.

Flash

I haven't blogged for ages. ages.

So, I was watching Full House (it takes my mind off things and makes me less irritable when I am irritable, like right now) and there's this episode where Jesse's writing a report for school on his new computer/laptop and his twin sons accidentally erase the 12 page report and Jesse's going ballistic, and finally Stephanie somehow restores the file for him and i see that the report is on 'Death of a Saleman' which is a play by Arthur Miller.

This made me realize that earlier, when I had seen this episode I didn't know about the play so I didn't care, but since I studied it this semester in college I am now familiar with it and I can tell that whatever they show of the report - it's all accurate- the facts and information etc. There are so many things that I've come across before in so many different places and they haven't mattered before because I never knew what they were or anything about them, but when I come across those same things years later, they seem to matter because I know what those things are and they suddenly make sense and hold importance to me.

This is the snapshot of the report that Jesse was working on:

MUAHAHA

I HATE INDEPENDECE DAY!

Sick

I thought I had Swine Flu

But I dont.

Thank God for that.

Dying of Swine Flu is kind of like the most sissiest way to die, that i can think of right now.

Chhi.

Phew.

and i found a photo online.

its disgusting but im going to put it up anyway.

Good Riddance!

After suffering for the majority of the last year with a diseased internet connection one that is more infamously known as BSNL broadband unlimited, I finally put my foot down and got it replaced with a TATA Indicom and suddenly the whole virtual world seems like a much better place..lightning fast and so easily accessible.

With a speed of 384 kb/ps and 1.5 mb/ps from 10 pm to 8 am and on sundays, I can safely assure myself that i can bid my sucky internet connection days a hearty goodbye.

It feels good to be back.

[sigh of relief]

A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints

Sometimes after experiencing a large part of the things that come our way, through all the decisions and in-decisions, the things we choose to do and those that we don't,  all the loving and the hating, the right and wrong and the confusion between the two as to which is which, we search for our saints to guide us through, mostly, unintentionally.

And we usually end up recognizing our saints in the people we left way behind in our journey.

(maybe now that i've realized this, i'll look out for my saints.)

" A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS" (2006)

Dito Montiel

PS: Yes, Sambit, you were right. It's beautiful.