A Blusear Mi Vida

I pushed open the curiously dusty doors of the pub and walked in. I chose a corner seat, one that had a table with it and a soft padded armchair.There were few poeple there, most of them too drunk to even stand up straight but they were all quiet. The waiter , a young boy in black came up and didnt ask me whether i wanted "the usual" or not. In fact he never asked me anything. I ordered a scotch, he went to the bar ,fixed it and handed it to me in a small crystal glass. The air was smoky . I lit a cigarette. There was a band playing softly in a corner of the dance floor.
It was some unknown blues - jazz band. The guy in front played the saxophone accompanied by a guitarist and the piano. The drums were being played with a brush to produce the muted and choked effect of percussion.
It was beautiful music. There was noone there in that room who was known to me yet i felt a sense of comfort that i never felt at home. I always dreamt of being chased by someone and that chase would always lead me away from my house...not that i would have stayed there anyway. So i sat in the pub whose name i had not seen when i came in just beacause. I sat there and i thought about the days and nights i had spent trying to achieve something that ultimately has no value or maybe it does and i am just stupid. Everyone will be forgotten one day even if you dont want to be forgotten. So why bother trying to make yourself known by communicating. So i sat silently although i wasnt drunk and i thought about nothing because i wanted to store this sensation of undefinable comfort for sometime. I closed my eyes and tried to hum a familiar song the band was playing, maybe it was "hey joe" or it could have been "stand by me"....but i wasnt sure so i left the place. i hate it when that happens,when i am not sure of myself. Thats why i dont believe in fate as i'm not comfortable with the fact that i'm not in control of my actions in future...
I went back home and fell asleep and dreamt of being chased away from my house .